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Regulation of the species

7.: You nervous?

4.: Nah. I mean, I've been competing since I was a fetus. I don't get nervous.

7.: I'm nervous. It's my seventeenth race, but you know. I still get the willies.

4.: Not me. I worry about falling when I ski to the starting line, but that's all.

7.: Ooh, 52 is going! Let's watch. I love the way he does those nifty tricks. See, I can't do tricks, so I'm always a last-placer. But I'm happy just to be here.

4.: Right. Right.

7.: There he goes...wow, look at how fast he's going.

4.: His top speed last year was, like, sixty-seven miles per hour.

7.: Whoa. What's your top speed?

4.: Oh. Eighty-one miles per hour.

7.: Dang.

4.: What's yours?

7.: Uh, I snowplow. Like the whole way down. So they've never been able to really measure my speed. Something about me not going in a straight line.

4.: ... Uh-huh.

7.: See, look at him go! You think he's going to hit the tree and all, but he's so good --

4.: -- that he'll go right by it without you noticing that he's adjusted his course. I know. He's so --

7.: (screams)

4.: Oh, God.

7.: (covers eyes) He didn't, did he?

4.: He...he hit the tree.

7.: I can't look.

4.: Oh, my God. I've never seen so much blood.

7.: I can't look.

4.: I think that his leg popped off. Oh, crap, I'm going to vomit.

7.: What was that? What was that?

4.: I think someone just yelled 'timber'.

7.: What's that cracking noise?

4.: (censored). The, uh...the tree he hit just fell over. On top of him. And a paramedic.

7.: I can't look.

4.: Okay, so there's a guy with a chainsaw -- wow, he's cutting that tree apart really fast. ... Dang. I mean, they've got the body parts off of the snow already, and -- wow. They're already towing him away on a snowmobile.

7.: I'm not looking.

4.: Actually, you can look now. The tree is gone, and the body is gone, and the paramedics are gone, and they blew fresh snow over all of the blood.

7.: (opens eyes) Did I just dream all of this?

4.: No.

7.: I wish I had.

4.: Oh, hey. The announcer just called your number. You're up.

7.:

4.:

7.:

4.: Yeah, well. Good luck.

7.: You go.

4.: Me? No. I race tomorrow.

7.: I'm not going.

4.: You should go.

7.: I'm terrified.

4.: Face your fear. Pretend nothing happened. Because nothing did.

7.: ... I don't know.

4.: You can do it. Just snowplow.

7.: Snowplow. ... You're right. Okay.

4.: Good luck.



4.: Oh, God. I'm forfeiting. This is too much.

08:33AM | 07.26.02 | file this« previous | archive | next »