 |
Tragedy peepers
S.: Oh, shoot. Hey, P., come over. Okay? I'm hanging up. Be here fast, okay? Okay. Okay. bye.
P.: Hey, what's up?
S.: Look.
P.: What's going on down there?
S.: I don't know.
P.: All the cop cars around and the broken-up concrete -- what, are they tunneling into the road or something?
S.: I've been watching for two hours. I can't tell.
P.: Ooh, black sedan.
S.: FBI.
P.: Yeah, you can tell by the way they hold up their badges.
S.: I wonder what they --
P.: Whoa.
S.: Did that FBI guy just stiff-arm that cop?
P.: Holy cow. The cop's not getting up.
S.: The FBI guy isn't turning around. Look at him, just walking into the building.
P.: Like Dirty Harry.
S.: Like Spider-man.
P.: Spider-man?
S.: Well, you know.
P.: Yeah.
S.: It's so smoky down there. Is something on fire?
P.: No, I think it's just all the concrete dust.
S.: What the heck are they doing?
P.: The cops are all clustering up over there, see?
S.: Are they laughing? They look like they're laughing.
P.: Uh-oh. Ambulance.
S.: Uh-oh.
P.:
S.:
P.: Oh my God!
S.: I felt it up here!
P.: I've never seen anything blow up except in the movies!
S.: Oh, God. Nobody's moving down there.
P.: I can't tell what's going on anymore.
S.: This isn't a terrorist attack, is it?
P.: On Grove Street in Eugene, Oregon?
S.: You're right. Ridiculous.
P.: Yeah, it is.
S.: Sorry.
P.: Do you think we should go help?
S.: Help the cops?
P.: Oh, geez. Look, there's the FBI guy.
S.: He's not even scratched!
P.: Look, he's just stepping over all of the bodies like they're not even there.
S.: He's like Rambo.
P.: He's like the Terminator.
S.: I still don't get what's going on.
P.: Turn on the news.
S.: Good idea!
E.: Okay, we're going to cut to a live feed now. G. is on the scene. G., what exactly is going on down there?
S.: Now we'll find out.
G.: Thanks, E. I'm standing in front of an apartment building that became the site of intense municipal activity just one hour ago. Police arrived without explanation and, with the aid of a construction crew, began breaking up the street. Seven policemen disappeared into the tunnel that was carved and have not yet stepped out. Moments ago, FBI agents arrived and staged a raid on the apartment building. That was quickly forgotten when an ambulance arrived on the scene, presumably to carry away injured opposition, and promptly exploded. If you'll look behind me, you'll see that the entire police presence is injured and likely dead. ... Wait, wait. One of the FBI agents has emerged from the building. I'm going to try to get close to him and get a statement. ... Sir, sir. I'm G. from Channel 148 News. Can you tell us what's going --
P.: Shoot!
S.: What? The TV just went all staticky.
P.: Crap! The FBI dude just like spin-kicked the camera man!
S.: You can see it from over there?
P.: Yeah, the news guy is running now.
S.: I'm coming back over to the window.
P.: Look, man.
S.: FBI dude's just getting in his car and driving away.
P.: He's like Godzilla. With a car.
S.: He's like Shrek.
P.: Shrek?
S.: Well, you know.
P.: Whatever.
S.: I'm still so confused about what's going on here.
P.: Well, whatever it is, now it involves a pizza delivery boy. See?
S.: The green VW that just pulled up?
P.: Yeah, that's the --
S.: Oh, my God!
P.: I felt it up here!
| |
