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Consummation
C.: Wow.
N.: Yeah, wow.
C.: What a night.
N.: Yeah.
C.: A waterbed. This is nice.
N.: It's a four-hundred-a-night room. Better be nice.
C.: Ha. Yeah. Right.
N.: Can you believe we did this?
C.: No. I mean. Yeah.
N.: Well, I can't.
C.: If I were you and you were me and you said that, I'd start crying.
N.: Why?
C.: Because girls cry at things like that.
N.: We do not.
C.: Yes, you do. All of you. So if I was the girl, I'd be crying now.
N.: Did that upset you?
C.: Me? Pfffft. Heck, no. I'm a guy.
N.: I'm just thinking how I don't know a lot about you.
C.: What? You know everything there is to know.
N.: Not everything.
C.: What do you want to know?
N.: ... You don't fart in bed, do you?
C.: Heh. Well.
N.: I knew it.
C.: Well, I'm a guy. What do you expect, I'll just get married and suddenly stop being a guy and become a man?
N.: Well...
C.: Yeah. Keep dreaming.
N.: What are you thinking right now?
C.: I'm thinking of how exhausted I am.
N.: Yeah, me, too.
C.:
N.: You think everyone's okay for the night?
C.: All the guests?
N.: Yeah.
C.: Yeah. They're probably all in their rooms snoring.
N.: It's a nice hotel, isn't it.
C.: You picked a perfect place for a wedding, N.
N.: I know.
C.: You looked real pretty in that dress today.
N.: ... Thank you.
C.: I know I should be taking it off of you right now...
N.: Yes?
C.: But I'm too tired for sex.
N.: What?
C.: Yeah. Today wore me out.
N.: This isn't just sex. This is Wedding Night Sex.
C.: So? It's not like you're a virgin. It's not like it has to be special.
N.: I cannot believe you just said that.
C.: What? I'm just really tired, okay?
N.: You're tired. You're tired. Do you even know what I had to do to make today happen? And still be beautiful?
C.: Look, let's not argue.
N.: Why? Because you're tired? I don't think so.
C.: Come on, let's just sleep. C'mere.
N.: No.
C.: Please?
N.: No.
C.: Come on.
N.:
C.: I l-o-v-e you...
N.:
C.: Please?
N.: What was that?
C.: What? I didn't hear nothing.
N.: That.
C.: That?
N.: You farted in bed!
C.: I did not.
N.: On our wedding night!
C.: I did not.
N.:
C.: Where are you going?
N.:
C.: Hey!
N.:
C.: Stop running down the stairs.
N.:
C.: Come back here!
N.: Hello?
C.: You're not calling your mother.
N.: Mom? He...he...he's a guy!
C.: Oh, my God.
N.: (sobs)
C.: Alright, well. I'm going to bed. Tell your mother all's well on my side of things. No problem here.
C.: (sigh)
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