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Confessions of a bad mechanic
H.: Hand me the wrench.
N.: Here.
H.: Okay. Whoa!
N.: What?
H.: Well, it's spurting oil into the air. That's a problem.
N.: It hasn't been doing that, though.
H.: Apparently it has, or you wouldn't have called me to fix your car.
N.: No, I have a brake problem.
H.: Oh. But you see, the two are directly related.
N.: No, no, no. It wasn't spurting oil into the air until you did whatever you just did.
H.: Well, your crank case is all gummed up. It had to be fixed.
N.: Yeah, but the oil...
H.: This is a natural function. When the car's in bad shape, you must relieve the internal pressure. Hence the oil. Spurting.
N.: I --
H.: And anyway, your brake lines tie directly into the crank case, which is tied directly into your battery, which I see needs to be replaced.
N.: Do you need that wrench anymore?
H.: Here you go. So what I need to -- ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. Ouch. Stop. Ouch. Ow.
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