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The father-in-law
N.: I see him -- you see him?
P.: I don't see anything.
N.: It's a buck. Eight-point. See?
P.: No.
N.: Over there. Behind the bushes? Right there.
P.: I can't see anything. Just...bushes.
N.: Well, keep watching. He'll move in a second and then you'll -- there! See? He lifted his head.
P.: I don't see him.
N.: He's looking right at us!
P.: All I see are bushes.
N.: Where are you looking at?
P.: At the bushes.
N.: Dangit, not that way. This way. See him now? Wait, he dropped his head again.
P.: Where do I look?
N.: Okay, see the bushes with that orange splotch of dead leaves?
P.: Yeah.
N.: He's right behind there. See the tree right behind the bush?
P.: Yeah. Think so.
N.: Do you see it or don't you?
P.: I see a tree behind the bush. But there are like forty trees behind that bush.
N.: Don't be smart. See the tree right behind the orange splotch?
P.: Yes.
N.: Good. Now watch and you'll -- there! He just lifted his head.
P.: Um...
N.: (censored). Where are you looking?
P.: At the place you told me to look.
N.: Well, he's right there. What the --
P.: I see him!
N.: Yeah?
P.: Yeah!
N.: Okay, what we do is wait for him to come out here, and then we --
P.: (grunts)
N.: (shouts) What the (censored)! Why did you shoot?
P.: I saw the deer. You're supposed to shoot the deer.
N.: You weren't listening to me at --
P.: (grunts)
N.: (shouts) What are you doing?
P.: Making sure he's dead.
N.: My God, my daughter's marrying a crazy man.
P.: What?
N.: Look, you go hunting with me, you listen to me.
P.: Fine.
N.: Go get your stupid deer.
P.: What?
N.: Go get it.
P.: I can't carry that thing.
N.: You shot it before I told you to, you can carry it out of here.
P.: What are you going to do?
N.: Watch you and laugh for a little while. And then I'll walk back to the truck and have a beer and wait for you. Somewhere round eight I figure you'll be back and we'll go home.
P.: It's four!
N.: Yeah. Takes a long time for a man to carry a deer back to a truck. Sometimes you gotta separate the carcass and make a few trips.
P.: 'Separate'?
N.: You'll figure it out. Here. Give me your gun.
P.: But I might need it.
N.: You want to carry two dead deer back to the truck?
P.:
N.: Give me the gun.
P.:
N.: Good. Okay, have fun. Make sure you're back by eight, though. We have to get into town for the tux fitting. Wedding's at one. But I don't have to tell you that. Do I.
P.:
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