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Summer (Texas, 1991)

W.: Is Charles home?

M.: Good morning, Walter. Come on in. ... Yes, he's in his room. Still playing that infernal -- what do you call it? Ninwindow or something?

W.: Nintendo, Mrs. Parker.

M.: Nin-ten-do. Right. Well, he's been up all night playing that thing. Maybe you can tear him away.

W.: Thanks, Mrs. Parker.



C.: Don't walk in front of the TV.

W.: Okay.

C.: Hey, I said --

W.: Shut up. I have important news.

C.: I was on the nineteenth level, at the big boss!.

W.: Remember the moving van by my house last Thursday?

C.: I got the flower of power and everything!

W.: Charles. Do you remember?

C.: God.

W.: Charles.

C.: I wish I was bigger. I'd kick your stomach through your back.

W.: Look. Charles.

C.: ... What.

W.: The moving van, last Thursday.

C.: Look, I found those binoculars fair and square. I ain't giving em back.

W.: Binoculars?

C.: The ones in the moving van.

W.: You stole binoculars from the moving van?

C.: So?

W.: This is great!

C.: Why?

W.: Because. Moving van. Next-door neighbors. Hottie chickies.

C.: Huh?

W.: Hottie chickies.

C.: What are you talking about? Move. I have to start my game over.

W.: Where are the binoculars?

C.: On the bookshelf. Move.

W.: Okay.

C.: Dangit, you lost my saved game, you butthead.

W.: I'm going now.

C.: Fine.

W.: With the binoculars.

C.: Just bring em back.

W.: To look at hottie chickies.

C.: Whatever.

W.: In small bikinis by a swimming pool.



C.: Bikinis?

W.: I think the people who moved in next door are, like, just a lot of girls.

C.: Eww.

W.: Like, you know. Older girls.

C.: Oh!

W.: With great big ta-tas.

C.: Mmmm. Ta-tas. ... Wait, you're stupid. That'd never happen.

W.: Last night while you played video games I watched em for, like, hours.

C.: Nuh-uh.

W.: They were putting suntan lotion on each other and stuff.

C.: Wow. ... Wait, at night?

W.: Well, maybe it was something else. Maybe it was some kind of hot sex cream or something.

C.: Wow. We should try to buy some and offer to put it on them.

W.: Stupid.

C.: Nuh-uh.

W.: Uh-huh.

C.: Nuh-uh.

W.: So anyway. I'm going to look at them.

C.: They're my binoculars and you can't take them.

W.: You stole them from the hottie chickies.

C.: So?

W.: So I'm going to return them.

C.: No!

W.: Dude, listen to me. It's brilliant.



G.: Uh. Hi.

W.: Hi.

C.: Marrumph.

G.: Can I, you know, help you? Or something?

W.: Well, we --

G.: Wait, you're not selling, like, lawn services or something, are you? Cause we take care of it ourselves.

W.: No, I --

G.: But you know -- hey, you guys ever cleaned a pool?

C.: Glogger.

W.: He means yes. Yes! We clean pools. That's what we do.

G.: What're those?

W.: These?

G.: Are those binoculars?

W.: No.

G.: ... Okay. So, like, how much?

W.: Um...

C.: Harulky.

G.: Fifty?

W.: Yeah.

G.: That's really expensive.

W.: I mean, twenty.

G.: How often?

W.: Um. Every day?

G.: (laughs) How about once a week?

C.: Traphlagur.

W.: Okay.

G.: Can you clean it tomorrow? We're having a big pool party with our girlfriends tomorrow night.

C.: Nallwylie!

W.: Yes! Yes.

G.: Okay.



C.: Oh, my God, dude, she was like so hot it hurt to look at her and I just wanted to, like, say, 'Hi, are you single, because I'm single, and I've been looking my whole life for a super-incredible-hot mama like you,' and I just know she would've gone for it, I mean, did you see how she looked at me, I mean...wow, it was just, oh, God, amazing. She wanted me.

W.: ... We still have binoculars.

C.: I just wanted to like reach out my cupped palms and say, 'Put em there, baby!' She would've, too. She was that hot for me.

W.: You realize what that means? First we get to clean a pool for a lot of hottie chickies, then we get to watch them have a pool party with the binoculars.

C.: Maybe they'll get naked.

W.: Maybe.

C.: Wow.

W.: Don't do anything gross while we watch, you know. Like whip it out.

C.: I wouldn't do that.

W.: I wouldn't put it past you.

C.: God, she wanted me. I think -- remember when we hit that baseball into that yard back when that house was empty? I think it's still there. Let's go back and ask if we can get it out of the yard.

W.: I swear, you whip it out and I'm gonna stomp it to death, you perv.

10:46AM | 07.18.02 | file this« previous | archive | next »