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Manager on holiday
U.: Good day, sir.
A.: Good day.
U.: What can I do for you?
A.: Well, I -- may I sit?
U.: Sit. Sit.
A.: Thank you. I -- my, this chair is nice. Very plush.
U.: Is it?
A.: Where did you get it?
U.: I don't know, rightly. I think -- I don't know.
A.: It's so nice.
U.: May I?
A.: Oh, sure.
U.: Wow. You're right. Very comfortable.
A.: Isn't it, though?
U.: Sit in my chair behind the desk.
A.: Okay. ... Ouch. My, it's not very plush, is it?
U.: Not really.
A.: I would complain, if I were you.
U.: I might do that.
A.: Can we switch back now?
U.: I suppose.
A.: ... Ahhh.
U.: (grunts) Okay. Well, I guess we should get on with it.
A.: Sure, I guess.
U.: What can I do for you today?
A.: Well, to begin with --
U.: Would you like a drink?
A.: Uh -- coffee would be nice.
U.: Sorry, I'm out of coffee. I can offer you a snippet of brandy, if you like.
A.: (looks around) Brandy?
U.: Brandy. Nobody will notice. It looks like tea.
A.: (loudly) Yes, I'll have some tea, please.
U.: Very good. Keep your voice down.
A.: Okay.
U.: Here you go.
A.: Thanks. ... Good stuff.
U.: Quite. Now, what can I do for you?
A.: I'd like to --
U.: Cigar?
A.: I don't smoke.
U.: Something to chew on in its stead, then?
A.: ... No. Thank you.
U.: Suit yourself. These cigars are very good.
A.: I'm glad. As I was saying --
U.: I can get you a sucker from one of the tellers if you prefer.
A.: No sucker, thanks. I want to start a business.
U.: A business? Of what?
A.: I've got a background in public relations. I'd like to start a public relations firm.
U.: Do you have a firm background in public relations? (laughs)
A.: Uh. Right.
U.: Sorry. Bit of a joke there.
A.: Right. No problem.
U.: Okay. A public relations firm.
A.: That's right. Handle community awareness, news releases, grand openings and the like.
U.: And what makes you think you're qualified?
A.: I'm sorry?
U.: How are you qualified?
A.: I thought I just told you. I have a background in public relations.
U.: Right, right. What do you want me to do about it?
A.: Well, you are the small business loans manager right?
U.: Hand me that plaque there.
A.: This one? On the corner of the desk?
U.: That's the one.
A.: Here.
U.: (reading silently) ... Okay, then. I guess you're right. So what can I do for you? As small business loans manager.
A.: You can loan me the money to start my business.
U.: Oh! Oh ho!
A.:
U.: Sorry. This brandy. Always going down the wrong pipe.
A.:
U.: So you want me to just give you money? Why would I do that?
A.: Is there another manager I can talk to?
U.: Oh ho! No, actually. Everyone's gone today.
A.: Why?
U.: Holiday.
A.: Why are you here?
U.: ... Good question.
A.:
U.: So you want me to just give you money?
A.: I expected applications and forms and such. I brought my financial statement and tax returns.
U.: Forms, eh? Let me poke around here...ah. Forms.
A.: How long will this take?
U.: Shouldn't take but a minute. Brandy?
A.: No.
U.: Mind if I...?
A.: I'd like to wrap this up.
U.: Cigar?
A.: No.
U.: Right, then. Okay.
A.: Can we get moving?
U.: Right. How much did you say you needed?
A.: Approximately one hundred fifty thousand dollars.
U.: Oh ho! Oh! Ha. I thought you said a hundred and fifty thousand dollars, not a hundred and fifty dollars.
A.: I did say thousand.
U.: My God! Who needs that kind of money to buy cigars?
A.: I'm not buying cigars, you lush. I'm starting a business.
U.: Lush?
A.: I'm sorry. Look, can --
U.: Lush!
A.: I'm in a hurry to fill out these --
U.: Well, if you're in a hurry, you're in luck. Because I seem to recall that we're closed today. Holiday.
A.: What?
U.: Holiday.
A.:
U.: That's right. Cigar?
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