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On Location, Day 2
D.: S., you wanna get me a cup of coffee?
S.: You got it.
D.: T., go ahead and round up the cast. We're going to run through a little something before we get started today.
T.: Will do. All of em?
D.: Yeah.
S.: Coffee.
D.: Thanks.
S.:
D.:
S.: You believe yesterday?
D.: I don't want to talk about it.
S.: Sorry. ... Same scene today?
D.: I said I don't want to talk about it, S.
S.: Sorry.
T.: They're all on their way, D.
D.: Good. S., go ahead and get W. on the phone. I'll jive with im til they all show up.
S.: Yep.
D.: God, I'm ready to quit.
T.: Ehh. Mind I say somethin?
D.: Fine, yeah, whatever. Don't think I'm sleeping, though. Just closin my eyes.
T.: Look, D., I been on movie sets now some forty-five years. And the --
D.: God, don't give me the 'one thing I've learned' line. If this is a pep talk, cut to the hesitant grin and the pat on the back, man, cause I ain't got time for a retrospective.
T.: Fine. You're going to do just fine. (pat)
D.: Yeah.
S.: W. is on the line.
D.: Hey, W., what's up?
W.:
D.: You there, man?
W.:
D.: Where's he at?
S.: I dunno. He was on there a second ago.
D.: W.?
S.: Hey, W.!
D.: S., shut up. This is a private call. ... Hey, W., you there?
W.:
D.: (censored).
S.: Want me to call him back?
W.: Hey, this W.
D.: W.!
W.: D.!
D.: What's up, man?
W.: Nothin, cept it's three a.m. over here. You forget that?
D.: Oh, man, I'm sorry. It's six here. We're about to start our second day of shooting.
W.: Yeah, and why'd you wake me up?
D.: You heard about yesterday?
W.: Yeah, B. told me about it. This isn't gonna happen the whole time, right? We don't deal with priss stars.
D.: That's why I'm callin. You maybe riff a bit with my actors, give em a sort of understanding.
W.: Yeah?
D.: Yeah. They're all comin in here in a minute. Figured maybe you could just say hey to em all, you know.
W.: Yeah, sure. No problem. Let me get some lemonade or somethin. My voice's all shot to crap.
D.: Yeah, okay. I'll just leave you on conference til they get here.
P.: Mornin, D.
D.: P., hey. Have a seat. Everyone comin?
P.: Yeah, R., Y. and U. were right behind me --
U.: Mornin.
Y.: Hey, guys.
P. -- and I think Q. was draggin a bit.
R.: G'mornin, mates.
D.: S., go rustle Q. up for me, wouldya?
S.: Yep.
D.: You guys want some coffee or anything?
P.: Yeah, coffee's good.
D.: You guys? Anything? Okay. T., grab P. some coffee.
T.: Look, I don't want to be a jerk, but that's not --
D.: T. Do it.
T.: (sighs)
D.: So, look, guys, between the five of us: you saw what went on here yesterday.
P.: Man, it wasn't nothin. That's first-day jitters.
D.: Yeah, well, I didn't think so. So we're just gonna kind of go over things, straighten out the kinks before we get goin. Okay?
W.: D.?
D.: Yeah, W.?
W.: Who you got there with ya?
D.: Well, P.'s here --
W.: P.!
P.: Hey, W.
D.: -- and Y., and R. and U.
W.: Guys!
D.: We're just waitin on Q. now.
W.: Uh-huh.
S.: Hey, D. I, uh, went to Q.'s trailer, and he's not there.
D.: He's wh --
W.: He's not there?
D.: Is he on-set?
S.: I couldn't find him.
W.: P., you seen Q. round there?
P.: Just a few minutes after shooting yesterday.
D.: (censored).
W.: (censored). D., you gotta find Q.
T.: Here's coffee.
D.: S., you and T. go grab a few of the grips and find Q.
W.: I'm gonna be understandably upset if you woke me up to yell at Q. and Q.'s not even around, D.
D.: No, no. We'll find him.
P.: This is a lynching, isn't it.
D.: What? No. No lynching.
W.: Nah, P.'s right. P., you ever worked with Q. before?
P.: No.
Y.: I have. And so has U.
U.: Yeah.
W.: So you guys know, then.
U.: Yeah.
D.: Know what?
W.: Q. was a risk we took, D. We probably shouldn't have. Q. is Brad Renfro's mouth and Macaulay Culkin's head on Russell Crowe's body.
D.: You hired Frankenstein for my movie?
W.: My movie. And no, not Frankenstein. We hired Edward Scissorhands for my movie.
D.: God, why?
W.: The annoying ones always get famous, D. You know that.
P.: I'm not going to sit in here for this. D., I'll be in my trailer when you're ready to start shooting.
D.: P., no, stay.
W.: Naw, go on, P. Take it easy. Tell B. I said hey.
P.: Yep. Will do.
D.: Why'd you let him go?
W.: P.'s your star, man. He's like Tom Hanks, too. Nice guy. Doesn't want anyone upset by him. So he wants out of the meeting so he can still talk to Q. at parties one day.
D.: Oh.
W.: Fact, any you other guys wanna go, you're fine.
R.: Yeah, I'll go.
W.: Y.? U.?
U.: Naw, I hate Q. I wanna hear this.
Y.: Me, too.
W.: Good. Now. D., go find your actor.
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