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It all started when...
It was in my cowboy phase, I must admit. I was only thirteen, I think, but felt twenty. My friend was a little older -- all of my friends were, which somehow made them better than me. He and I got a ride to Astroworld. There was a ride there which invited visitors to take a seat in an elongated car shaped like a piece of bamboo (only, of course, much, much larger). The car featured no seatbelts. No, what the riders did -- because two were required, no more, no less -- was sit facing forward. The rider who sat in the back of the car had to wrap his or her legs around the rider in front. Ride alone and you'd never know who you might end up with.
Anyway, the ride sent you hurtling down a steep slope into a pool of dirty water, where a ride assistant would help you exit the car and point you toward a sunny area you might quickly air-dry in.
Only in our case the assistant was a young woman that my friend found attractive. I don't remember what she looked like. He couldn't stop talking about her, and made a pretense of having lost his sunglasses at the top of the ride so we would have to wait twenty minutes more in line just to "find them". He hadn't brought any sunglasses with him. So we rode down again because, after all, riding was faster (and more fun) than walking.
He said nothing to her. He actually looked away from her, too nervous to even smile.
We rode six or seven more times, our Wranglers shrinking more with each turn. By the time night fell and we left the park, I'd walked twenty miles in tight wet blue jeans, and the insides of my legs were shredded.
This is why I walk the way that I do.
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